a boy implied that he wouldn’t have sex with me again until I cleaned my room. guess who got a damn swiffer wetjet in his hand right now? dick makes you do crazy things
Well darling, the secret to my style is learn from the greats, and then mash up everything great about them to form your own unique style. Some of the greats are:
The Queen of “I’ll insult in your own home, while you serve me your crappy champagne and caviar”, Dominique Deveraux
La Riena de “about that life”, Soraya Montenegro de la Vega de Montalban
The Queen of “I am the fucking greatest and you will deal” Vanessa Williams in every fucking film. No seriously. IN EVERY FUCKING FILM
The Queen of “the uptight holier than thou Suburbanites”, Bree Vandekamp
The Queen of “how is she still talking and holding her glass still”, Karen Walker
The Queens of “Is this bitch serious, lets give her the silent kill stare”, Lucy Liu and Salma Hayek
Fuck Im having one more calorie stuffed crepe
They gon’ find me dead like this
"Why he smilin’ like that?"
"He died from the crepe"
"Such a sweet way to die"
This is the face of someone with a lingering hangover, who just discovered dessert crepes. So he said fuck his diet, and consumed 3 of them stuffed with oreo icecream, whip cream, strawberry glaze, and crunch peanut butter.
Also sidenote my mother said, “you look horrible, are you okay?” I told her, “Mother, even on my worse days I look good. It’s just this horrible lighting in this house.”
Big wheel keep on turning
Proud mary keep on burning
And we’re rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
And were rolling, I SAID WERE FUCKING ROLLING.
ROLLING ON THE RIVER!!