jigglypug:

a boy implied that he wouldn’t have sex with me again until I cleaned my room. guess who got a damn swiffer wetjet in his hand right now? dick makes you do crazy things

Even when I’m sick I still feel myself. That person you hear in the background is my brother singing while doing homework. Miss Lord got me together at the end though. 

A message from Anonymous
You literally inspire me so much. Dragging people to their grave but while you do it you're so poised and graceful. A lot of people get messy when they drag but you keep good posture and I am such a fan.

Well darling, the secret to my style is learn from the greats, and then mash up everything great about them to form your own unique style. Some of the greats are:

The Queen of “I’ll insult in your own home, while you serve me your crappy champagne and caviar”, Dominique Deveraux 

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La Riena de “about that life”, Soraya Montenegro de la Vega de Montalban

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The Queen of “I am the fucking greatest and you will deal” Vanessa Williams in every fucking film. No seriously. IN EVERY FUCKING FILM

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The Queen of “the uptight holier than thou Suburbanites”, Bree Vandekamp 

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The Queen of “how is she still talking and holding her glass still”, Karen Walker

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The Queens of “Is this bitch serious, lets give her the silent kill stare”, Lucy Liu and Salma Hayek

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I feel like the spirit just went through me. 

Have you accepted Celine Dion into your heart? 

Fuck Im having one more calorie stuffed crepe

They gon’ find me dead like this

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"Why he smilin’ like that?"

"He died from the crepe"

"Such a sweet way to die"

This is the face of someone with a lingering hangover, who just discovered dessert crepes. So he said fuck his diet, and consumed 3 of them stuffed with oreo icecream, whip cream, strawberry glaze, and crunch peanut butter. 

Also sidenote my mother said, “you look horrible, are you okay?” I told her, “Mother, even on my worse days I look good. It’s just this horrible lighting in this house.” 

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The lightbulb blew, so I decided to give y’all my best impression of a white women trying to be captain save a hoe to find Jimmy (whose already dead) ,and ends up getting snatched by the demons.
The lightbulb blew, so I decided to give y’all my best impression of a white women trying to be captain save a hoe to find Jimmy (whose already dead) ,and ends up getting snatched by the demons.
The lightbulb blew, so I decided to give y’all my best impression of a white women trying to be captain save a hoe to find Jimmy (whose already dead) ,and ends up getting snatched by the demons.
The lightbulb blew, so I decided to give y’all my best impression of a white women trying to be captain save a hoe to find Jimmy (whose already dead) ,and ends up getting snatched by the demons.

The lightbulb blew, so I decided to give y’all my best impression of a white women trying to be captain save a hoe to find Jimmy (whose already dead) ,and ends up getting snatched by the demons.

Big wheel keep on turning

Proud mary keep on burning

And we’re rolling, rolling

Rolling on the river

And were rolling, I SAID WERE FUCKING ROLLING.

ROLLING ON THE RIVER!!

Breakdown!

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