You have what I call the minority complex. It’s where a group of people try their hardest to gain the approval of the majority. Yet that will never happen, because the majority already feels threatened by the minorities presence. The majority will always find something to make them feel superior than the minority, that my dear is a fact (hence through time civilizations always had a scapegoat).
Saying “he/she is giving us a bad name” is shaming that person for being who they are, and that is wrong. Phrases like that will only cause strife in our community instead of unity, which we really should be striving for. Hell I’m black and gay, so I should know how it feels to be pressured to act a certain way to please not only my race, but my sexual community. That shit is fucking tiring. One side is calling me white because of my interests and the way I talk, and the other is criticizing my interests and the way I talk.
Basically what I’m saying is I understand the need to fit in, and please the majority. Yet, the majority will always find some selfish way to turn us into a scapegoat. Plus it’s their own ignorance they need to get over before they can even criticize others.
Today, I was talking about Obama with a friend, and I said conservatives give him so much crap because he’s black. My friend said I don’t think it’s really because he’s black, and it was so annoying. I’m sick people saying that to me. I know that race isn’t the only reason people dislike Obama, but it’s definitely a major factor.
The main problem is that the racism against Obama is subtle. No one has outright said “I hate Obama because he’s black” in the media (to my knowledge), but it’s so obvious from the way articles are worded or the thing conservatives choose to nitpick like Obama’s “hip hop” birthday party or calling Michelle Obama a “ghetto hoochie mama” because of the fabric of her dress.
The people making those statements didn’t directly say anything racist but it’s so implied that they basically did.
This is why it’s so hard to talk to people about racism because as a black woman, I recognize subtle racism. I can see when something is suppose to be taken as a racist comment. But other people don’t.
So when I try to articulate this, peopel act like I don’t know what I’m talking about or that I’m playing the race card.
I read so many comments and articles that are blatantly and subtly racist, but I try to block them from my head because I don’t need that negativity. When people ask for examples, it’s hard for me to come up with any because I have mental list in my head of how many times I’ve heard/read something racist ,but it’s kind of hard to recount specific examples or articulate the way I feel.
I have such a hard time trying to describe racism and why something is racist because for me, I can just feel/tell when something is racist and sometimes I can’t even formulate words to explain why but I just know it is.
Race and racism is so complicated because it’s mainly internal. POC spend most of there lives not speaking up in fear of losing their friends, job, or not wanting to cause conflict and create even more drama. Therefore, I feel like when I’m finally asked to speak my mind, it’s so hard because I’ve kept everything inside for so long that how can I convey all my anger, disappointment, frustration, etc in a couple of minutes or sentences.
Also, it’s easier to rant/express my frustration with another POC than a non-POC because I don’t have explain every little detail or why this certain thing is racist because they already know. A POC deals with it daily, and I don’t have to provide a history lesson or “what it’s like to be black” lesson for someone to understand why something is racist.
I hope this makes sense. I was just thinking about this on the way home. My friend was very understanding and agreed that people are ignorant, but I don’t think she fully believes that race is a major factor in the way people perceive Obama. I’m not even annoyed at her, but more so at the fact that I lacked the ability to convey my thoughts and the fact that talking about racism is so hard in general.
I feel like that’s always going to be the case when a minority (sexuality, gender, race, etc) comes into power. A lot of people in the majority don’t interact too much with people outside of their group, so a good portion of what they know about people outside of their group are through stereotypes. Then what makes matters worse is that a good majority of those people start to believe that the general population of the minority group all have a one dimensional personality that only exhibits the stereotype.
Which is why I think it should be necessary for everyone to go to college and experience all different types of people. The majority only knows what their parents told them, and we can’t blame them for that. We must give them the tools necessary to see past the bullshit and gain empathy towards the disenfranchised population.
Yet I also feel that we cant write people off who are part of the majority in understanding the minorities feelings on issues that pertain to them. For example sometimes when my female comrades rant about women issues, they automatically exclude me out of the conversation assuming I don’t know what’s going on nor have the capability to understand them. That could be farther from the truth. Have I personally felt the pains of menstruation? No, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand how much pain they are in or why they go through so much trouble finding the perfect tampon/pad.
And I’m going to stop this little post before It gets too long. To summarize, Yes Obama is getting the shaft sometimes because of his color. Yet, there are people who actually don’t look at his color when they are criticizing him. Lets also remember that people are dickwads on the internet, so we have to take those comments with a grain of salt.
The Earthquake was probably caused by everyone dropping their jaws to the ground this morning when they heard Will & Jada Pinkett Smith are getting a divorce.
You can’t say BS like that with so many conflicting reports going on with that story.
It is a free country, sistahchild. I can say what I please!
You’re right. You do have a right to say whatever you please (well maybe except direct threats to the president). Just remember I would be here to shut you down if I have to.
If you can’t handle the heat stay out of the dog pen darling..
I believe the word you’re looking for is “kitchen”.
No need for such harsh language. Didn’t know I opened a fresh wound of self doubt after I simply told you to slow down and check your facts before you posts anything news related. Didn’t want you to sound stupid or anything. Seesh the things I do for some people.
He does have a point everyone should know how to make a proper meal for their man. Then hit them with a nice ol’ apple pie. Now see this apple pie is homemade with some fresh arsenic inside. It’ll be so good, it will be the death of them.
Singledom is stereotyped as all kinds of horrible things. The songs boo-hooing being single are endless. And for some reason, they all have the word “one” in them. One is the loneliest number. One less bell to answer….one less man to pick up after. Bad things always happen to single people. Those who aren’t attached to another are forced to live a life with 100 cats in a sad one bedroom apartment 4EVAR. Being single is the worst of the statuses. Everyone on Facebook will think you’re a loser!
With all the talk about how much being single sucks, it’s understandable that a lot of us think it’s the same as being Quasimodo locked in a tower somewhere, staring down at the world. However, I dare say there are some perks to being single that you don’t get when you’re hitched. I also dare say that you’re allowed to enjoy your singlehood for these and many other reasons.
1. Standards. It’s good to have them. You don’t want to be all desperado for a mate. Being single shows the world that you’re cool with being alone; you just haven’t found someone who’s good enough for you. Hold your head high and be glad that you’re not desperate to date just anybody. And I don’t wanna hear that it’s because “nooo nobody will date me sad face.” Honey, if you were uber desperate, you could find somebody. TRUST ME.
2. More time with your friends. Being in a relationship means having to continuously divide your time between friends and significant other. Not to mention the time you spend at work, with your family and doing internet things for 17 hours straight. When you’re single, you can make as many plans with your friends as you want, with no significant other to complain.
3. More time to yourself. Most of us have hobbies that we do alone. Reading books, watching your favorite movies over and over, shopping for shoes, playing games, whatevs. Being in a relationship severely diminishes the amount of time you have to do these things when, for example, every time you open up your book, your significant other calls and wants to talk or hang out.
4. Relationships are fun, but they also give you extra worries and pressure. Instead of worrying about your own life, you have another person to think about all the time. Add in a couple fights or the dreaded beginning of a relationship where neither of you know exactly WHAT you are, and all of a sudden you’ve got a stressful life! Everything else could be fine, but when the pressures of a relationship are attacking your subconscious, it’s all you can think of.
5. It’s arguably better to be single than be in a crappy relationship. You know somebody who’s in a crappy relationship. You have to hear about said crappy relationship all. the. time. Think about said crappy relationship any time you’re bummed about being single. Would you REALLY rather be in that situation than be single? Cause chances are, if you’re looking for a relationship just to have one, it’s probably gonna be a crappy one.
6. Being alone allows you to internalize your self-esteem and not base it on having a relationship. People who are always in a relationship end up basing their self-esteem on their relationships. They only feel good about themselves when they’re in a relationship and therefore fall apart when a relationship goes away. Which they then quickly replace with another relationship. When you’re alone, you’re forced to feel good about yourself for other reasons: Your personality, your grades, your work ethic, your kindness, etc. The good thing about liking yourself for these reasons is that you control them and they don’t go away.
7. You get to go out and flirt with whoever you want. Going out with your friends to bars/clubs when you’re in a relationship is way less fun. You have to wrangle in your flirting for fear of upsetting your significant other, and you’re certainly not making out with anyone or taking anyone home. Talking to people at bars turns into a satisfactory way of passing the time while your friends are busy flirting. When you’re single, all bets are off. You ain’t gotta restrain yourself for nobody!
I’m seriously going to print this article out and give it to seven of my girlfriends. Yes I said seven (I counted-.-). This is getting ridiculous.
Solution to hangover: Keep drinking!! Note that this advice does not apply for every day life, unless you get paid to drink. i.e. You’re a member of the Jersey Shore cast. But I would never wish such a terrible thing upon you…
No that would be horrible. I mean I wouldn’t even be able to follow the GTL lifestyle… I’ll give you a second to think.
It’s because I’m black darling. Ahh get it *badum tsch* Don’t judge me.
I actually wont be drinking for a weeks(which means a couple of days in college time), because I called my roommate a tornado (we were playing a board game called imagine If). Basically I called her a slut, and she’s mad at me.
Is it weird that I still have this headache from my hangover? I slept almost all day, took some medicine, and It’s still here. This is what I get for trying to keep up with my Irish best friend (yes I know stereotype deal with it). He’s all happy go lucky, and I’m just dead. Great, a day just wasted…